why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
