corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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