why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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