I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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