Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
