Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
