I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
