So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
