Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
