i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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