I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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