I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize