Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My balls are so social today.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
