it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
