We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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