dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
cat food counts as protein by the way
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The air was thick with penises
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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