woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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