went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
