Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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