the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
