i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
