Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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