That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When did we convert life to cartoon?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
