just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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