I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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