New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i think my cat just said my name.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
