it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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