dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
