no, he came in my armpit
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize