dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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