we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
