He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
