Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
