...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish you could order shots online.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
