plz talk dirty to me
Michael Bay diarrhea
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
