i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
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