how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
