It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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