How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize