dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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