am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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