brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
