I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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