he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
