The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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