But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
