i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
