alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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