I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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