also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
