My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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