OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
