How'd it feel making her break her religion?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
