I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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