Whod you bang
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
