I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
