i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
