No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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