In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
