I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
