he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
