help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
