i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
