Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
