it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
