I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
