I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
