Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
