I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
