I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
