I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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