I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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