i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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