So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
