You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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